There is a self-conscience element to the person who is regularly five minutes early. I do not like to waste another’s time. I think it’s rude. Every person deserves consideration no matter the ‘status’. So what is happening to me? Don’t I care? I do but I’m retired. I was in a class recently and left early because I felt tired. I had learned what I needed. Two others left at that intermission but I still felt a tad guilty. I wonder what their reason was? I barely made it to a meeting Monday night. The prayer time had not begun but the early thing no longer feels necessary. Learning to be late is an adjustment to my nervous self of many years. I have normally ‘followed’ most rules, watched the clock, gone the extra mile, called them before they called me, ad infinitum, nausea. My low blood pressure belies my nervous nature and what is cooking in my belly. I don’t want to disappoint people but being late feels right sometimes. Let’s just call a spade a spade. I don’t feel like I need to please others or explain my choices. There are limits to this new protocol but I’m feeling lazy today and it suits me.
Book #2 of 10 – I hope