I have a recent challenge with spam calls. I learned that, even if the call is within my area code, if there is a +1, it is likely out-of-area spam. I rejoined the “no-call list”, I thought I was already on. I also looked at the numbers on my phone and need an edit. When I was in real estate I would add agents and vendors for each transaction and then would remember to delete – eventually. I have past clients on my phone because I like them and don’t want to lose touch. The two groups that embarrass me are the names I can’t remember and the dead people. I know that sounds harsh. Why can’t I delete them? I just deleted one. My childhood friend, Steve, who passed in 2022. I don’t want to rush through the people I can’t remember today because I may remember them tomorrow. Do you have attachment issues? I think it is like the adult version of a child clinging to you at the pre-school drop off. My children had a little preschool and one missed me more than the other! That is just about personality. So why do I still send out too many Christmas cards. Why do I fight for relationships I have certainly outgrown. Why do we love people, even the icky difficult ones?
I think the spam calls are a result of a fake social security call that I took and realized that I needed to get off the phone. I have heard that they record your voice saying yes and then use it in a dangerous and expensive way. In any case, I’m at least of average intelligence and figured it out. So what about the people who have passed on that I can’t let go of? I’m not mad about any of this but I can’t call them ever again. Maybe I am grieving that the last time I called Steve he could hardly speak. I had planned on praying the Lord’s Prayer with him. He could hardly whisper. He was gasping. I thought he might be having a bad day but it was more. I got off the phone with a promise that I would call soon and he passed the next day. I couldn’t have known but I think I should have known. The people I don’t remember are another matter. Tomorrow I’ll make a list and sit on it. In a few days I will start letting go. I would like to think that I love dead people and people I can’t remember because I am made in the image of God. God is love. Connections are all we have. The loneliest people in the world lack connection. They may not be in my phone but when I notice “that” person (and you know what I mean) I hope I will be warm.